Back in March (2019), I wrote a post about all the things that I, as a widow, was going to need to learn to do for myself. So here it is September, 4 days before my 57th birthday, and I'm finally updating that post.
Of the things that I had never done in March, these are the things that I have done/learned in the past 6 months (This list is in no particular order) as well as some other life lessons:
1) I've learned to cut my own grass using the Kubota zero-turn. Not only have a I cut my own grass regularly, I've also been cutting my mother's grass some. I was worried about what cutting the grass would do to my allergies and asthma. I'm happy to say that I've had no ill effects from the grass cutting (other than minor sunburn).
2) I've learned that baking soda (or baking soda and vinegar together) not only kill the fire ant mounds I was treating, they also kill the grass and any other growing thing under them (lots of bare patches in my yard to prove it). Crab grass, however, is resilient and will eventually cover the bare spots.
3) I've learned to use a weed eater.
3a) I've learned to check for hornets/wasp nests in the high grass before weed eating.
3b) I've learned to wear long pants and safety glasses when weed eating and a scarf or face mask!
4) I've leaned that I'll never make a living as a painter. I painted my own bedroom this summer. While I'm satisfied with how it turned out, I doubt many other people would be (and I'm okay with that!)
5) I bought and can use my garden tiller (and have with great satisfaction)
6) I bought and have used a leaf blower... comes in really handy and is much quicker than sweeping the carport.
7) I've learned that I now can successfully use a plunger and have multiple times.
8) I've learned that I can live in my own house with or without someone in it with me.
9) I've learned I can go to bed whenever I'm ready instead of waiting for bedtime.
10) I've learned I can eat dessert first and sometimes do... Life is short, so why not?
11) I've learned I can travel on my own and give of myself (time, talents, and money) and how much more satisfying life is when I do.
12) I've learned that I can say no to things that are burdensome or stressful and not necessary to my health and well-being.
13) I've learned I can set my own health goals and go after them and achieve them. I don't need anyone else's approval, but some cheering along the way is nice.
14) I've learned that my happiness is in my own hands. I will be as happy as I decide to be.
15) I've learned that my relationship with the Lord is the most important relationship I'll ever have and the one that I need to nurture the most.
16) I've learned that simple things like an inflatable swimming pool can be the start of beautiful times spent with grandchildren.
17) Time together as family and time on my own are both important. It's not selfish to spend time doing what I want/need to do.
18) I owe no one explanations for my decisions or choices but me (God already knows, but I do need to check with Him first, before making those decisions)
19) Taking a mental health day is sometimes exactly what the doctor ordered.
20) Starting the day with prayer and devotions BEFORE exercise and work are important!
21) I've learned that when you are trusting the Lord to provide, guide, and direct, life is much more peaceful.
22) Living healthy isn't always about the food that I eat or the exercise/workout that I do. It's about taking care of my mind, my emotions, my spirit, as well as my body.
Some of these things that I "learned" I think I already knew, but had either forgotten or not practiced them. Each new day is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to think, to be happy, and to live. Instead of always just planning for some day, live today!
Do I miss my husband? Everyday. Are there things I would never have done while he was living? yes. I regret that I didn't learn more from him while he was here to teach me. That I didn't take the time to ask or observe or help as much as I could have. However, I'm thankful for the time that we had and the beautiful children and grandchildren that resulted from our union.
So now as the anniversary of his passing is just over a month away, it's time to quit looking back and begin to try to look ahead more. It doesn't mean I won't miss him, or cry, or get sentimental. I will. Always.
In the coming year, I want to be more intentional about living, loving, laughing, and learning.
There are still many things to learn (again no particular order):
1) Cooking in the Instant Pot still hasn't happened. But it will in the next year.
2) Haven't attempted to use the chain saw yet, but am sure I will learn.
3) Haven't learned to drive a tractor yet, but it's on my bucket list.
4) What it's like to take a vacation every year, but I'm working on it.
5) Sorting, organizing, and staying on task was once easy for me (oh so long ago)... I'm working toward that again. It'll take years to clear the clutter (in my house and my mind).
6) What it's like to start and complete learning projects and crafting projects while being productive at work and home. But I'm working toward that too.
When will I post again? Who knows? This writing process today has been cathartic, so maybe I'll be sooner than it was the last time. Only time will tell.
Until then I bid you Peace that Passes all understanding.
❤️
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